I have not been here in a bit because i am going through a seperation from my wife, only 2 1/2 years, !!!!!!!! This is really hard stuff. I tried to be a different cat. I did not want to be like every married couple you hear about and talk about. I am a different kind of cat in general. I really believe in saying the vows in front of friends, family and GOD really means something !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am not perfect either, but SH@t, this is nutz !!!!!!!!!!!! This is some really hard stuff. Her parents which i feel are my other mother and father will not even talk to me. I am sure that she said some really messed up stuff to them, but i am also your son. Or atleast i thought i was. Thanks for listening reading !!!!!!!!

Shit like this is hard bro. If its not to late why don't the both of you try counseling. Often in new marriages afte the newness wears off, problems seem to become to big to deal with. Often they can be "fixed" easily with just being able to talk to someone about it....

hope it all works out for ya

I ahve been married for 8 years and I beleive part of the reason, is that, I go to seea therapist by my self once every two weeks. I don't feel like the problem is only me, however, I just get to vent to a 3rd party and hav einbiased answers to my questions. The 8 years have been up and down and If I could change one thing, it would be how we spend money. But, I am still in love with my wife and she is with me, atleast i hope so. We all know that we can be just as moody as a woman when we are on cycle. I have told my therapist what I do and he deals with the gear issues and doesn't blame everything on the juice. Good Luck bro! Pm me if you need somebody to talk to, I am on my 2nd marriage. :mad:

Good luck bro, I don't know anything about marriage or divorce, but that is one of my big concerns when I get married or look to get married. I don't want things to end in divorce because everything you worked hard for in life is split 50/50. You buy your house twice and things that were yours before marriage is now 50% hers. I'd try hard to reconcile your differences and give it another shot. If that is not an option, just ask other people you know that have gotten a divorce for advice, 50% of marriages end in divorce so ask every other person on the street.


Smoke

Hey bro,
I have been married twice, and my second one is the best thing that ever happend to me. I don't know your situation, but just remember that the only people that matter in your relationship is you and your wife. When I got my first divorce, I have never felt more alone in my life, but it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened. I know things may seem bleak, but there is hope. Keep your head up, and remember you have friends here.
GD

Yes it hurts BUT if your gonna get divorced it's better now after 2 1/2 yrs then 10yrs down the road.
I've been married 16yrs have been seperated twice but some how work it out. I'm sure if we didnt have kids we wouldnt have tried at all.

number one thing people fight about is money.

My fiance' is the coolest chick I've ever met and she just lets me be me and I let her be her. The other thing that ruins marriage is people trying to change the other once they are married.

number one thing people fight about is money.

My fiance' is the coolest chick I've ever met and she just lets me be me and I let her be her. The other thing that ruins marriage is people trying to change the other once they are married.

Buff has a good point. Just as everyone else does. The only thing that I would like to interject is like Jim said about the counseling, the only counselor I would go to is God!! Bro you said it, your vows were infront of the Lord and you should also put whatever troubles that you and your wife have, in His hands. I am hoping to marry my Fiance the end of this year or begining of next, but the one thing that I have learned is that we put our relationship through God, and try to live the way He wants us to.

I am not trying to preach a sermon here or something, but I have seen the worst relationships salvaged when the couple came to God. Try telling your wife, lets go to church and pray about it. Put aside your differences for a few days, and act like friends, then let the Lord take care of all those "worldly" problems, and you guys should do fine.

Her parents are being this way because that is their Babygirl. You would act the same if it were your daughter just like anyone else would. Just remember, go to them as well and tell them what is on your heart, and tell them your intentions. Just pray on it. Good luck and I wish you and your wife the best.

:D

Gunz as much as I respect someones right to belive in whatever they want GOD cant fix whats broken.
The ONLY one who can help you IS YOU. If it's ment to be it will be.

Gunz as much as I respect someones right to belive in whatever they want GOD cant fix whats broken.
The ONLY one who can help you IS YOU. If it's ment to be it will be.

You are right, we have a right to free will. But are you saying that we are right all the time? Sometimes one may have to step "outside" the box to see what the problem is and fix it. God can do many things in your life, if you allow Him to, like I said before, I am not preaching, or trying to start anything, but neckferr made the comment about saying his vows infront of God, and I believe that He can help, because you know Doug, there are many things in this life that we cannot handle alone and we need to seek the higher power. Whatever religon it may be, the "Higher Power" will be there for you.

We all have had rough times in our relationships, and stayed or left for different reasons. The only thing I am saying is that one could be proactive instead of reactive. You said yourself, you have been married 16 years and what stopped you from the divorce, the children. Dude, you must have had that on your heart for some reason or another. Your kids are very important to you and your wife. I don't have 16 years under my belt, but I would like to just ask one thing, if you had a chance to go back and change it, would you?
Apparently neckferr loves his wife, because if he did not, he would not have come on this board and told us whats going on in his life. I feel he is looking for help, and a positive approach to the situation and not the choice of leaving his wife. Nobody is perfect, we all have our problems, but if we can COMPROMISE, then we can live happy and fruitful lives. I take marriage seriously, and yes I do believe that God brought you and your wife together, because if He did not want us with our mate, then no matter how bad you wanted it to happen, He would have not had let you make it to the alter with her.

Thanks for listening. :D

Bro I have ONLY handled EVERYTHING by myself. The ONLY reason I'm still married is because of the kids. BUT the day will come when I'll be free; So I sit and I wait! BY MYSELF!

Bro I have ONLY handled EVERYTHING by myself. The ONLY reason I'm still married is because of the kids. BUT the day will come when I'll be free; So I sit and I wait! BY MYSELF!

Oh crap, that's rough. How old are your kids Doug?

Bro i havent seen your name around for awhile! Well its good to see ya but im sorry things arent so good for you. Try and keep your head up, do what you can and make the effort and if your best isnt' enough then maybe it for a reason. The guys have good points here and maybe the councelling would help. Best of luck to ya.

Thanks ALL. We actaully went to one counseling session. She made out all of our problems to be my fault. She took no responsbility for any of her faults. I thought after that session, that we were on the road back to happiness. But, then she says that it is over. She sadi that we need time apart. The time apart was her going to be, live somewhere else. I told that financially that could not happen. The money situation. That is what has really hurt everything like everyone also mentioned. She spends like there is no tomorrow. So, then we had to out the house up for sale. There was a contract on it in less then 24 hours. We would have made 90,000 on the house but i had to take a second and then with credit card bills i am in the hole by 25,000 after the sell of the house. I have always told her about her spending, but still would just suck it up and she would still keep on spending. When we talk now, it is like we are friends, atleast with her side of it. I really need to find a new place to live, but everything is so expensive now, that it is crazy. But, that is the only way that i think that i can get back to some normalness. It is so hard though. I love her so much, I never really thought that this would happen. I need to take my frustrations back out in the gym, but i have been out now for about 3 months. WIth all this moving and all, i still need to get back in. I am sure that the iron will help out in the end. Thanks again everybody.

Man, I really feel for you, I hope you endeavour my friend.

I love her so much, I never really thought that this would happen. I need to take my frustrations back out in the gym, but i have been out now for about 3 months. WIth all this moving and all, i still need to get back in. I am sure that the iron will help out in the end. Thanks again everybody.

For what its worth Bro, I will say a prayer for you. Sometimes things get soo bad and we don't see the light at the end of the tunnel!! Don't give up,because someone IS watching over you Bro.

And for Doug, for whatever its worth, I will keep you in my prayers as well. I wish you the best in what you are looking for and I hope that you find the happiness in life, that it has to offer you and your family.

Thanks

For what its worth Bro, I will say a prayer for you. Sometimes things get soo bad and we don't see the light at the end of the tunnel!! Don't give up,because someone IS watching over you Bro.

And for Doug, for whatever its worth, I will keep you in my prayers as well. I wish you the best in what you are looking for and I hope that you find the happiness in life, that it has to offer you and your family.

Thanks


THANKS GUNS, It is worth alot.

THANKS GUNS, It is worth alot.

No problem Bro, its the will of God.